Oh Darcy, Brandon and Wentworth

Ode to the Austen Male with a Twist


Jane, you are my shero, goddess divine
Forgive me if I alter your stories
The leading men I fawn over align
To the other side of straight gaieties
It is an encomium, not a fancy
And open our world to a new story

 Fleshed out of their breeches by stroke of pen
All went through vast swaths of human frailty
Passion, hate, lust, greed and sweetness of men
One wonders of their sexuality
Underneath all that masculinity
Let’s pair each of them with alacrity
 
Perchance, Wickham shared a bed with Bingley
After a night of maudlin reverie
As the early morn brought in the cold wind
Their bodies intertwined as Cupid grinned
Eyes were closed yet hands and lips were feeling
At each other that Eros was reeling
 
Willoughby is a name no one forgets
He abandoned Ms. Grey with no regrets
Frank Churchill and him noticed each other
In a pub not far from Emma’s corner
Twas a match she did not foresee nor plot
It took wine, playful ribbing the fates wrought
 
Who couldn’t help but love Edmund Bertram
Miss Price was one of sisterly pursuits
Colonel Brandon found Marianne’s youth irksome
While shooting birds an attachment took roots
Brandon paid Bertram a visit, a lark
That found them both necking at Mansfield park
 
The Pemberly and Donwell Abbey males
Sly on their yen for the true masculine
Mrs. Weston reckons their stare details
An attraction close to the feminine
Tis rare for Alphas to admit their boob
Somehow love and lust caught both in one swoop
 
A lonesome piano got shared by two
Mary played first, Georgianna joined in
Then a crimson arrow pierced their hearts through
Miss Jane’s hallowed prose will be tested thin
Sappho lingers within two hearts sharing
Their love for songs and books neverending
 
Philip Elton sought Mr. Collins out
For counsel on wedded ceremonies
Mr. Collins taught him not to doubt
On spanking and leather intricacies
Pleasure and pain mingled to benefit
Under cloak and pomp, a match illicit
 
What a sight Nurse Rooke got to chance upon
A Baronet kissing a fair-haired boy
Hark! There’s a scandal that Bath can take on
Henry Crawford declares he’s not a toy
Maria B’s loss is Sir Henry’s gain
Coin did buy the gossip’s finding detain
 
Captain Wentworth sailed out again with glee
His quarters yielded a handsome bounty
The crew didn’t know what to make of it
Two chaps sharing everything did not fit
On moonlit nights, out comes Henry Tilney
With Frederick behind, always happy
 
One can only dream such pairings exist
Fiction among fiction, twist upon twist
When inspiration cannot be denied
Because there’s magic on words that relay
Same gender attraction can be applied
True love matters in the end of the day

All Rights Reserved. © 2019

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