This passage is ddkted to someone special to me. Reverence aside, I was drawn to the quirkiness, stubbornness and feistiness of this person. Today, she is gone. Adieu, mon cher Auntie Leony….
I remember one particular morning in Lunar Street where I had a nightmare that she was gone and I cried her name out. She came rushing into the bedroom and asked what happened. I kept playing this scene out as if it happened yesterday. I opened my eyes, saw the window and the street and called her name. I hear her from the back, asking me why I am screaming her name and tears were coming down my cheeks. I said, “I thought you’d died!” She looked at me and said, “I have to prepare breakfast. Get up and wash your face.”
So today, this afternoon, as I was going to the hospital to meet my sister so we can view our Aunt’s body, I remembered this dream and thought, I wonder if I get to hear and go through the motions the way I’ve been doing it for years again.
Tomorrow is a new day. We will take care of filial responsibilities that need to be done. Then we move on and live and enjoy life to the fullest. Yes, I bawled my eyes out and at times, go into crying spells out of nowhere. Any trigger like a sad song, something to do with the lungs and breathing, or just watching an old person move about on the street or at the BART. It will stop somehow and then I will think of the positive things I’ve learned from people. Not just any people, but the one that’s closest to my heart.
Auntie Leony, we will meet again one day and I hope we get to play scrabble forever in heaven…
Miss you and love you forever!